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So, today I am working at home as usual, and my son is supposed to be at my mum’s, but he’s here with me because he’s sick. I’ve had about two hours sleep and my morning has been all over the place.
Last night, we went to the local Italian for a bite to eat after picking the little one up from nursery. Normally he’s great in a restaurant, a good eater and well-behaved. But I could just see that he wasn’t his usual self. He was exhausted and flushed in the face. He felt hot and he was irritable.
We had already ordered food by the time he was showing signs of being off, so we ate fairly quickly and headed home. When we got home the little man was exhausted and showing signs of having a temperature. We got him ready for bed, gave him some calpol, and he was asleep fairly quickly.
I couldn’t settle and checked in on him a number of times before going to bed myself. He was sound asleep, butt his breathing sounded heavy as though he was congested. I put some vaporub on his chest and back whilst he slept and hoped he would have a good rest and feel better in the morning.
And then it started….. tears and calling for daddy every hour on the hour from about 1am onwards. I got up to see to him and there wasn’t anything I could really do for him. He just wanted hugs and reassurance that I was there. After settling him again, he was asleep quickly, and I went back to bed. Buy every time I was just on the cusp of falling asleep, I’d hear him again and have to get up.
He’s never slept in my bed before as I haven’t wanted to start that as an option, and he’s always been a good sleeper. I couldn’t count my sleepless nights due to him being unsettled on one hand. I have really been super lucky with that. But it got to around 5, and I was exhausted and feeling frustrated, and I was seriously considering bringing him to bed with me. But I resisted.
This Morning…
This morning he woke cranky and was definitely showing signs of being poorly. I asked him what was wrong and where he felt uncomfortable, and he told me he had a sore ear. He said he could feel it popping now and then, I assumed when he was swallowing or eating. We had breakfast and got ready, and I drove him to my mum’s house as she looks after him on a Wednesday.
In the car he was crying that he wanted to stay at our house and not go to gran gran’s house. But I managed to encourage him to be happy about going to my mum’s house, just like he normally is. But as soon as we arrived I knew it wasn’t going to last. He was talking about going to our house and not wanting to stay with my parents.
I sat and had a coffee, and he was ok, laying on the sofa snacking and watching TV. But as soon as I got up to leave the tears started, and he wanted daddy. We decided that my parents would come to my house and spend time looking after the little one. So we all got in the car and headed back to my house.
After being here about an hour, I was in and out of virtual work meetings and trying to get myself settled into a work routine. But it was too distracting having too many people in the house. The little one settled on the sofa with cartoons on. I grabbed my laptop and parked myself next to him, where I still am, and I’m doing my best at juggling my responsibilities.
He has managed to sleep a little, he’s had a top-up of calpol, but he is still not 100% himself. He’s been tearful, grouchy, unsettled and just out of sorts. I’m exhausted and feeling guilty when working as I just want to be a good dad and make sure he’s ok.
Watching him, trying to assess what could be wrong with him, I’ve come to the conclusion that its probably either an ear nose throat infection or swollen glands. I feel absolutely helpless as there is nothing I can really do to make him feel better. He just wants cuddles and to be next to me. So if that’s all he’s asking for, then that’s what I will do for now to help him feel loved, looked after and better. I am watching the clock as I am tired and keen to get an early night tonight so lets hope he feels better and manages to sleep.
